to be fair i didnt go into it expecting to like it
but it really isnt that good, for instance...lets look at Bella, this is a girl who has changed her entire life, relocated to a town she doesnt know has an epic romance and falls absolutely in love, yet manages somehow to convey all emotion whether it be fear or pure joy with a slight ironical Junoesque indie chick cynical-at-life lift of the side of her mouth, and goes thru the film looking as tho she doesnt really care whats happening
Moving across country? Whatever
Starting a new school where you dont know anyone? So What
Realization that the guy you have a crush on is really a vampire and belongs to a vampire family who are located just outside of town? Meh I'm just a teenager with Teenage Problems.
All this news is conveyed by Miss Kristen Stewart as tho she has just been told she'll have to wait a bit longer for the pizza she just ordered...yeah its an inconvenience but it really doesnt matter!
ok let turn our attention to the heart-throb(huge fucking question mark framed by his immense eyebrows over that one)...Mr Edward Cullen
now i know it is mentioned that Edward sometimes speaks as tho he was from a different time, but seriously 'and so the lion falls for the lamb'...that line nearly made me choke on my cup of tea besides...he was turned in 1918. Now speech has obviously changed since then but he's speaking as though he's from the Renaissance, altho credit where credits due, he's bad during the romance scenes (again, like his co star, he's fails to show any real emotion) but plays the confused human side of the vamp unsure to handle this 'girlfriend' phenomenon pretty well...'erm, so...this is my room'
I appreciate the attempt to make the vampires more human in this film
BUT WHERE ARE THE FUCKING FANGS
even when the baddie Vamp James is threatening dear little Bella, you dont think he'd use his fangs to intimidate her? (SPOILER)and theres not even fang marks on Bellas wrist when he bites her, just looks like regular everyday borin human teeth!
and once again the tree climbing was awful, i've not seen a film yet that shows good speed tree climbing with out it looking like a wire pulling up an actor who is just waving their arms about, surely with the budget they had on that film they could have shown his fingers digging into the bark to pull him up (but hey, thas against nearly all vampire films...why do they all have Spiderman fingers??)
and on the subject of the SFX, the fast running was soooo horrible the close ups of bella holding on....her arms so loose over his shoulders a mere hop would have her off, and i think someone should have told them that just blurring slo mo or real time action doesnt make things look super fast it looks like you've just blurred slo mo or real time action
now i could go on about how the flashbacks during Bellas realization were totally gratuitous (the action happened in the last 30 mins, dont think we're gonna forget that anytime soon)and how the history of the family could have been beefed out so much more
but i shant
in conclusion, i can see the appeal to younger viewers....but it could have been so much better!
10/12/2009
01/11/2009
random rant
right, so on the day of Halloween, a time for Hocus Pocus, Nightmare before Christmas, Coraline and the like, my mother decides that the film that should be played is Beauty and the Beasts Enchanted friggin Christmas....ever had to try to turn yourself into a zombie with elle singing 'as long as theres Christmas' in the backround??
Anyway, this got me thinkin about Beauty and the Beast, in the film the Beast is a proper bastard, dont care for nothin or no-one and has always been this way, however he became the Beast cos some manky old lady offered him a rose for shelter an he said no...this is not the act of bastardness in my eyes, think about it, your indoors on a horrible night, you hear a hammering on your door, you open it to find a haggard nasty grizzled old gypsy hag on your doorstep sayin 'lemme in an i'll give you a flower' who in there right minds would accept that offer...yeah yeah yeah, that might sound harsh, but would you?
I think not, i mean sure, i'd prolly give her directions to the nearest bed and breakfast, but lettin a absolute stranger into my house jus cos it was rainin? hell no, especially if all they offered in return was a bloody flower...and theres another thing, why would you offer a dude a flower, yeah sure there are some guys who would gladly welcome the gift of a rose, but you wouldn't offer it to any random guy! so.....in conclusion, the Beast was just some regular guy, who was prolly just having a bad day (as we all do once in a while) who didnt let some scabby old hag into his house, and cos she was a absolute bitch, she fucked him right up.
Who does things like that, does she just go from house to house expecting people to let her in? if she's that desperate for lodgings she should go to a motel, she's a bloody enchantress, she could magic up her own one!
so second conclusion, she's a bitch, the Beast was just a normal guy drove to depression!
rant over
Anyway, this got me thinkin about Beauty and the Beast, in the film the Beast is a proper bastard, dont care for nothin or no-one and has always been this way, however he became the Beast cos some manky old lady offered him a rose for shelter an he said no...this is not the act of bastardness in my eyes, think about it, your indoors on a horrible night, you hear a hammering on your door, you open it to find a haggard nasty grizzled old gypsy hag on your doorstep sayin 'lemme in an i'll give you a flower' who in there right minds would accept that offer...yeah yeah yeah, that might sound harsh, but would you?
I think not, i mean sure, i'd prolly give her directions to the nearest bed and breakfast, but lettin a absolute stranger into my house jus cos it was rainin? hell no, especially if all they offered in return was a bloody flower...and theres another thing, why would you offer a dude a flower, yeah sure there are some guys who would gladly welcome the gift of a rose, but you wouldn't offer it to any random guy! so.....in conclusion, the Beast was just some regular guy, who was prolly just having a bad day (as we all do once in a while) who didnt let some scabby old hag into his house, and cos she was a absolute bitch, she fucked him right up.
Who does things like that, does she just go from house to house expecting people to let her in? if she's that desperate for lodgings she should go to a motel, she's a bloody enchantress, she could magic up her own one!
so second conclusion, she's a bitch, the Beast was just a normal guy drove to depression!
rant over
30/10/2009
All Hallows Ween
the night is once again upon us, finally i can walk around in a costume an not get 'looks' of people, i feel as tho we should have more costume lead holidays, sure you can dress up like santa or an elf at the celebration of a dude who dabbled in witch-craft, cannibalism an blood letting (think about it, its true) an maybe a giant a bunny (celebrating....erm, how bunny's soothed JC's hunger with...chocolate when, erm, he was...fuck it WHY CHOCOLATE EGG LADEN RABBITS PEOPLE, IT MAKES NO SENSE) an you can always celebrate your own day in your very own birthday suit, but thats it. Think i may start my very own campaign to start a Simpsonsesque 'Do As You Feel Day', seriously, how cool would it be to stroll down the shops dressed like a pirate an get served by a big chili. Costumes make the world a happier place, now i have to finish my noose, scrawl reasons why i killed myself on a shirt an hope that no one at the party knew someone who hung themselves!
It has now been a week since i did a Work Trial at a shop in Bexleyheath....for those who dont know, a work trial means i work somewhere for a week without gettin paid to let the company know what i'm like and if they should hire me, i got my travel paid for (an expansive 12 whole pounds) and a lunch allowance (living like a lunchtime King on £3 a shift). They kind of flippantly said that i'd find out this week if i have a position over Chrimbo, it is now the end of the week, and i've heard nothing...altho that may be cos i didnt jump into their little clique they had there, it seemed as tho if you talk bollocks with the supervisor an laugh at his loud voice neighing, abrasive and sliiiiightly offensive statements about his sex life he didnt like you, an me being me, i sat in the staff room an read during my breaks (which seemed to put them on edge), when on the shop floor i kept myself busy an helped customers (which i received no kind of training for...lucky i knew a bit about what i was selling!) i would like a job for christmas, but i'm kinda secretly hopin i didnt get this one, purely so i dont ever have to talk to them again!
It has now been a week since i did a Work Trial at a shop in Bexleyheath....for those who dont know, a work trial means i work somewhere for a week without gettin paid to let the company know what i'm like and if they should hire me, i got my travel paid for (an expansive 12 whole pounds) and a lunch allowance (living like a lunchtime King on £3 a shift). They kind of flippantly said that i'd find out this week if i have a position over Chrimbo, it is now the end of the week, and i've heard nothing...altho that may be cos i didnt jump into their little clique they had there, it seemed as tho if you talk bollocks with the supervisor an laugh at his loud voice neighing, abrasive and sliiiiightly offensive statements about his sex life he didnt like you, an me being me, i sat in the staff room an read during my breaks (which seemed to put them on edge), when on the shop floor i kept myself busy an helped customers (which i received no kind of training for...lucky i knew a bit about what i was selling!) i would like a job for christmas, but i'm kinda secretly hopin i didnt get this one, purely so i dont ever have to talk to them again!
29/10/2009
Writers Block > Writers Boredom
so
my first screenplay is 7 pages in....and i'm stumped, i know the story, i know the characters, i jus dont know how to put it down on a page in script form.
Having asked advice from fellow writers the suggestions where 'just finish it' 'i've read what you have already, send me the finished one by Friday' (cos apparently deadlines help...i think not) and my personal favorite 'Drink + Think'.
so know i'm sitting at my 'puter, albeit about to leave to deliver a console drumkit to a friend an attend the last class of a course i'm on) with a bottle of cider, an all i can think is...i prefer magers to bulmers!
for now i shall leave with this, not knowing whether or not it shall even be read, believe me i could go on about children chasing pigeons with plastic axes, annoying supervisors at (potentially) new jobs and a bunch of Halloween brew ha-ha, but i must flee for quick alcohol, learnings and more alcohol.
take care internets
x
my first screenplay is 7 pages in....and i'm stumped, i know the story, i know the characters, i jus dont know how to put it down on a page in script form.
Having asked advice from fellow writers the suggestions where 'just finish it' 'i've read what you have already, send me the finished one by Friday' (cos apparently deadlines help...i think not) and my personal favorite 'Drink + Think'.
so know i'm sitting at my 'puter, albeit about to leave to deliver a console drumkit to a friend an attend the last class of a course i'm on) with a bottle of cider, an all i can think is...i prefer magers to bulmers!
for now i shall leave with this, not knowing whether or not it shall even be read, believe me i could go on about children chasing pigeons with plastic axes, annoying supervisors at (potentially) new jobs and a bunch of Halloween brew ha-ha, but i must flee for quick alcohol, learnings and more alcohol.
take care internets
x
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