Musings on Twilight

to be fair i didnt go into it expecting to like it
but it really isnt that good, for instance...lets look at Bella, this is a girl who has changed her entire life, relocated to a town she doesnt know has an epic romance and falls absolutely in love, yet manages somehow to convey all emotion whether it be fear or pure joy with a slight ironical Junoesque indie chick cynical-at-life lift of the side of her mouth, and goes thru the film looking as tho she doesnt really care whats happening
Moving across country? Whatever
Starting a new school where you dont know anyone? So What
Realization that the guy you have a crush on is really a vampire and belongs to a vampire family who are located just outside of town? Meh I'm just a teenager with Teenage Problems.
All this news is conveyed by Miss Kristen Stewart as tho she has just been told she'll have to wait a bit longer for the pizza she just ordered...yeah its an inconvenience but it really doesnt matter!

ok let turn our attention to the heart-throb(huge fucking question mark framed by his immense eyebrows over that one)...Mr Edward Cullen

now i know it is mentioned that Edward sometimes speaks as tho he was from a different time, but seriously 'and so the lion falls for the lamb'...that line nearly made me choke on my cup of tea besides...he was turned in 1918. Now speech has obviously changed since then but he's speaking as though he's from the Renaissance, altho credit where credits due, he's bad during the romance scenes (again, like his co star, he's fails to show any real emotion) but plays the confused human side of the vamp unsure to handle this 'girlfriend' phenomenon pretty well...'erm, so...this is my room'

I appreciate the attempt to make the vampires more human in this film

BUT WHERE ARE THE FUCKING FANGS

even when the baddie Vamp James is threatening dear little Bella, you dont think he'd use his fangs to intimidate her? (SPOILER)and theres not even fang marks on Bellas wrist when he bites her, just looks like regular everyday borin human teeth!

and once again the tree climbing was awful, i've not seen a film yet that shows good speed tree climbing with out it looking like a wire pulling up an actor who is just waving their arms about, surely with the budget they had on that film they could have shown his fingers digging into the bark to pull him up (but hey, thas against nearly all vampire films...why do they all have Spiderman fingers??)
and on the subject of the SFX, the fast running was soooo horrible the close ups of bella holding on....her arms so loose over his shoulders a mere hop would have her off, and i think someone should have told them that just blurring slo mo or real time action doesnt make things look super fast it looks like you've just blurred slo mo or real time action
now i could go on about how the flashbacks during Bellas realization were totally gratuitous (the action happened in the last 30 mins, dont think we're gonna forget that anytime soon)and how the history of the family could have been beefed out so much more
but i shant
in conclusion, i can see the appeal to younger viewers....but it could have been so much better!